I’ve started to realize that sometimes when life throws you a nectarine you just gotta pretend its a peach until one day it hits you that life is actually pretty peachy keen.
it’s so strange how things can change from year to year, age to age, and grade to grade. you go along with the same groups of friends for years sometimes and suddenly, they aren’t yours anymore. They are just names you know, faces you pass in the school hallways, and fragments of acquaintences. It hurts like hell at first. You just sit there thinking about how things won’t get better, how the days ahead will suck and how you possibly can’t be happy without these people in your lives.
But then one day it will hit you.
you’re okay.
you’re better than okay
and most importantly
you’re okay on your own.
Before this year started I asked a good friend how I should go about all of this. How should I just drop these so called people that have been my “best friends” for years? My friend responded with “just do it.” That’s what I’ve done.
I’ve started to realize that every time I’ve lost people I’ve met others. I’ve formed better friendships. I’ve learned about the people who truly count in m life and I’ve been able to let go of those who weigh me down. I guess with losing this group of girls we are even. Since after all, I’ve been holding them back from their success and happiness for years and without them I’m starting to realize I’ve spent the last three years of my life groveling, thinking that :oh they are just the bees knees” while really they’ve been driving me mad. Has it really been worth it?
During my sophomore year of high school I ran into issues with this group of girls although it was a lot less serious than the ones right now, it was still pretty bad. An outsider who I met due to the fact I had lost my friends said to me “why waste your time crying when you can be figuring out how to be happy again?” I guess I’ve spent the months of August and September on just that. Looking ahead with hope & barely glancing back except without regrets.
I’ve done my part in this whole situation. I actually groveled at first trying to make my way back into this group. It’s hit me though, why bother? I have reached the middle ground of the impossibly large chasm in between us and that’s where I will stay. If they want to make amends I will gladly take apologies. But for now, I will be here and if they never make things right then that is their loss. Life will go on, no matter what, it always does.
It amuses me however the scope of this fallout. Our tenth grade English teacher is even trying to get this friendship going again by putting up quotes to try and make us remember the good times. The past week there was one in his room that read “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” MLK JR
I won’t sit here sad. Despite the odds, I’m fairly happy. God’s prepared me and blessed me with a few enormous gifts and because of that, things have been pretty peachy keen.
I’ve made new friends. There have been new adventures and they have been nothing short of wonderous. A few weeks ago it hit me that whenever I’ve lost people better ones have found a way into my heart. Like Matt. I realized I can’t imagine not being close to him now. We’ve spent three years of high school just sort of knowing each other and after the past two months I can’t imagine how there ever wasn’t a time where we weren’t attached at the hip and absorbed by each other. It saddens me to know that it’s now in the beginning of our last year that we have discovered this friendship but at the same time, I know we will stay close. We are already making plans for staying in touch when I wind up ten hours away.
There is less than a year left here but I know I will make it count; with those who count.
it’s so strange how things can change from year to year, age to age, and grade to grade. you go along with the same groups of friends for years sometimes and suddenly, they aren’t yours anymore. They are just names you know, faces you pass in the school hallways, and fragments of acquaintences. It hurts like hell at first. You just sit there thinking about how things won’t get better, how the days ahead will suck and how you possibly can’t be happy without these people in your lives.
But then one day it will hit you.
you’re okay.
you’re better than okay
and most importantly
you’re okay on your own.
Before this year started I asked a good friend how I should go about all of this. How should I just drop these so called people that have been my “best friends” for years? My friend responded with “just do it.” That’s what I’ve done.
I’ve started to realize that every time I’ve lost people I’ve met others. I’ve formed better friendships. I’ve learned about the people who truly count in m life and I’ve been able to let go of those who weigh me down. I guess with losing this group of girls we are even. Since after all, I’ve been holding them back from their success and happiness for years and without them I’m starting to realize I’ve spent the last three years of my life groveling, thinking that :oh they are just the bees knees” while really they’ve been driving me mad. Has it really been worth it?
During my sophomore year of high school I ran into issues with this group of girls although it was a lot less serious than the ones right now, it was still pretty bad. An outsider who I met due to the fact I had lost my friends said to me “why waste your time crying when you can be figuring out how to be happy again?” I guess I’ve spent the months of August and September on just that. Looking ahead with hope & barely glancing back except without regrets.
I’ve done my part in this whole situation. I actually groveled at first trying to make my way back into this group. It’s hit me though, why bother? I have reached the middle ground of the impossibly large chasm in between us and that’s where I will stay. If they want to make amends I will gladly take apologies. But for now, I will be here and if they never make things right then that is their loss. Life will go on, no matter what, it always does.
It amuses me however the scope of this fallout. Our tenth grade English teacher is even trying to get this friendship going again by putting up quotes to try and make us remember the good times. The past week there was one in his room that read “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” MLK JR
I won’t sit here sad. Despite the odds, I’m fairly happy. God’s prepared me and blessed me with a few enormous gifts and because of that, things have been pretty peachy keen.
I’ve made new friends. There have been new adventures and they have been nothing short of wonderous. A few weeks ago it hit me that whenever I’ve lost people better ones have found a way into my heart. Like Matt. I realized I can’t imagine not being close to him now. We’ve spent three years of high school just sort of knowing each other and after the past two months I can’t imagine how there ever wasn’t a time where we weren’t attached at the hip and absorbed by each other. It saddens me to know that it’s now in the beginning of our last year that we have discovered this friendship but at the same time, I know we will stay close. We are already making plans for staying in touch when I wind up ten hours away.
There is less than a year left here but I know I will make it count; with those who count.
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